hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize