Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Is it because I queefed?
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Randomize
