peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
