just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
