filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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