i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
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