at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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