And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
only if we run a train.
done.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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