I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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