Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
