I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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