We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
