Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
