I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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