...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I woke up under a house in Key West
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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