I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
