I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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