she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
