trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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