According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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