I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
