Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
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