Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
You're breaking my sexual little heart
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