Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
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