I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Randomize
