I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize