oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
