i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
