It's like God shit irony all over that family
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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