doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
She told me I should be a condom model.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
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