just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
