Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
