Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
