So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
