I think my fart just growled at me.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize