If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
