dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Randomize
