You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
