Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
