its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
