why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
