My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
