oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize