i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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