no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
