just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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