she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
