My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
