My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
