Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I had to cum in my sink.
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