how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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