i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
