you win again, gameday.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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