The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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