she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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