Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
