BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
