Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
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