i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
