Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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