i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
