She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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