he puts the penis in happiness.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
