when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
