**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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