Nicole vs. Life
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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