Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Randomize
